Next Steps

Unfortunately, following the death of a loved one, family members are often targeted for scams. Please watch out for these common calls or scam tactics: 

1. "Do you want an obituary posted?" 
   • People may call you asking for money to post an obituary. This is NOT standard practice. It is best to work through your funeral home or to submit an obituary to your local paper directly. 
2. "You owe money!"
   • This is a common time for scammers to pose as a "debt collector" calling to inform you that you are responsible for your loved one's debt and need to pay it immediately. They may also claim to have important documents and need a fee paid before they will release them. They may sound legitimate and even threaten legal action. 
   • NEVER make a payment or give credit card/banking information over the phone.
   • ASK FOR A NAME, number, and company name so you can give them a call back. They will usually hang up immediately. 
3. "You are entitled to money."
   • In this scam, an "insurance agent" notifies you that your loved one left a large life insurance policy, usually over $1 million. They will inform you that the money can be wired to you, but a payment must be made first. 
   • NEVER make a payment or give credit card/banking information over the phone. 
   • ASK FOR A NAME, number and company name so you can give them a call back. They will usually hang up. 
4. Long lost relatives
   • Funerals are a time that family and friends gather and reconnect. Unfortunately, this can also lead to scams.
   • If you don't remember the relative or have never met them, it could be an imposter. Confirm their identity with other relatives, especially if they are asking for their part of an inheritance or money. 
5. Identity Theft
   • Limit personal information that you place in an obituary. Don't include their birthdate, address, mother's maiden name, or any other information that can be useful for thieves. 
   • Provide death certificate copies to the IRS, DMV, Equifax, Experian, TransUnion, banks, brokerages, credit card and mortgage companies where your loved one held accounts. 

Checklist of Items to Complete:

1. Contact all financial institutions
2. Obtain death certificates
   • these are necessary for insurance and other legal processes
   • certificates are available from the funeral home
   • six (6) certified copies are recommended.
3. Collect all current bills they may have
4. Contact an attorney - likely an estate attorney
5. Check for employee/civil services benefits. Government employees may be eligible for death benefits.
6. Contact the Social Security Administration to secure death benefits
7. Check their memberships. There could be life insurance through these groups.
8. Gather all insurance policies
9. Check credit cards and loans for credit life policies
10. Review automobile insurance if death resulted from a vehicle accident
    • it may be possible to file a claim for medical fees, vehicle damage or other benefits
11. If applicable, check into Veterans befits by contacting the St. Paul Veterans Administration regional office
12. Prepare a letter to inform their employer about the death. Funeral directors can often assist with this. 

Grief is incredibly complicated. People show grief in different ways - there is no right or wrong way. Be patient and caring. Talk about your feelings and thoughts. 

Personal Grieving

• Some people like to talk about the death and with many people. 
• You may cry or get angry more often.
• You may need help with day-to-day things. It is okay to ask your partner, family or friends for that help.
• You may find support at a place of worship or with a support group. 
• How do YOU want to remember your loved one? 

Helping Children Grieve

• Use simple, honest words when you talk to your children.
• You can read stories that talk about death and loss. The funeral home may have books that help them understand. 
• Encourage them to tell you how they are feeling and/or ask questions.
• Ask them to find ways to remember their loved one. Drawing a picture or making a project can help.
• Your children may be hurt, confused or angry. In younger children, this might show up as clingy, cranky or regressive behavior. Older children may be extra worried about things like school, friends, or sports. 

Helping Family Members Grieve

• If family is living in another state or city, they may plan a trip to be close to family at this time.
• Decide in advance if it is okay for friends to ask questions about what happened. If not, tell them you are not ready to talk about it. 
• Tell them that it is okay if they don't know what to say. Hearing, "I just don't know what to say," can be comforting in itself. Remember, even if they say things that are hurtful, they are probably just trying to help. 
• Tell them exactly what you need. Maybe a meal, shopping for groceries, childcare, or help with laundry? Offer specific things they can do for you.
• Thank them for their patience and support. 
• Some people may expect you to limit your grief or get over it in a certain amount of time. Take as long a YOU need to cope with your loss.